Having a Double Mastectomy...and a Toddler

I was really nervous about my double mastectomy - not for me, but for my 2 year old. I'm writing this post in case it helps other moms going through the same thing!

About 2-3 weeks before the surgery, we started telling our son that Mama was going to have a "big ouch" and he would have to use "gentle hands." When he would ask to be picked up, I'd remind him that I could pick him up now, but after my big ouch I would not be able to pick him up for a while. If he was a little rough with me, I'd ask him if he could practice using his gentle hands.

The message definitely got through, because he'd repeat "mama, big ouch, gentle hands" and pat me gently. (It was so sweet!) I think it's good we didn't go into any details, I didn't want to scare him too much.

My mother-in-law came to visit the week of my surgery to have another set of hands, and a bit of a distraction.

I stayed 1 night in the hospital after the surgery. I video chatted my husband and son the morning after surgery and said I'd had the "big ouch" but was feeling fine. Then, I went to my parents' house to recover. I was planning to stay until my drains were out, but after about a week or so I was feeling so good that I decided to try going home, and it worked out fine.

While I was staying with them, my husband and son came to visit for dinner a couple times. I think the first time they visited was just a couple of days after my surgery. I was nervous that he would get too physical but it was fine! I wasn't bedbound or anything, I could sit on the floor and lightly hug him - I put a pillow in between us to be safe. He seemed nonplussed and played a lot. I think it was good for him to see me in person and see that I was OK. While I was staying there we often had a quick video chat in the morning or to say good night before bed.

Back at home, I had to keep reminding myself not to pick him up because I was so used to it, but he was understanding. One thing that helped was getting one of those kitchen helpers so he could climb up and stand next to me at the counter, since he likes to see what I'm doing.